This evening I was texting with my son and he suggested that I not deprive myself of the pleasures in life to benefit my health. That got me thinking, he has never seen me as I was in my youth when my mind was sharp and I had all the energy in the world. For much of his childhood I was the woman who often was still in her pajamas when he got home from school and took something out of the freezer and microwaved it for dinner and who spent most of her time in front of the TV. He never got to know the girl who was top of her class in everything she did, scored in the top 2% on her ASVAB tests and was handpicked for many special honors during her service in the Navy because I was good at everything I attempted. He doesn’t miss her because he never met her, but I would give up any food to have ½ the brain function I had at 20.
Most people don’t know how bad it got for me. At one point my memory was so gone that I was ready to go in for a baseline test for Alzheimer’s, I actually got in the habit of writing myself notes before I’d leave a room so I’d remember what I was supposed to do when I went to another room. When my depression had a strangle hold on me, I couldn’t leave the house for days. Getting up and making sure the kids ate breakfast and left for school on time was about all I could manage in a day.
I’ve had dramatic improvement over the years. I gave up on prescription anti-depressants because I had tried them all with minimal results. When I started eating better and working hard to keep stress out of my life my depression symptoms lessened. It’s been a few years since I’ve had an episode that was bad enough to shut me down completely, but I still feel it around the edges when things get too much for me. I feel like I have that pretty much under control, but I still have severe brain fog most of the time and low energy which zaps my productivity.
For the first time in decades I have hope that I can resolve my imbalances and have sustained energy and mental clarity. For this I’m willing to do a lot of things I’d prefer not to do. The hope of what I can gain is worth giving up so many things. I plan to write about this journey as it happens in hopes of helping other people. I won’t give the exact details of my supplement routine because I think it is important to find a practitioner who can help you figure out the right support for what is happening with your body.